Extrovert World

Ga sengaja nemu Winter Song-nya Isyana, mendadak amazed dan ngerasa way sooo much introversion in one song, haha. Iya, walopun aksi panggungnya pecicilan begitu, Isyana tuh introvert sejati. Try listen to her latest album Lexicon, if you have some introversion in you, you'll find it being in your favorite playlist in no time.

By the way, its not simple being an introvert in the world built with extroverts' standard. As a kid, every single introvert must've heard the likes of "km pinter TAPI pendiam", atau "maaf ya ini anak saya pemalu". As if you need to be sorry by being quiet or "shy". And as you grow up, you'll have to survive in extroverts' standard that judge people by what they can say or show/express. Active talker are rated as more charismatic, convincing, and competent than quiet one. Most of teachers in school believe that the ideal students are they who raise their hand in class, in which introverts won't do unless they have to. In social life, people who consistently being under the spotlight are considered as kind people, nice and friendly, and more desirable as friend or partner. Try ask your office's HRD about what is that "creative" people they're looking for. The answer would be "outgoing, fun, energetic people with lot of confidence to think out of the box." Nothing like introverts are, despite the fact that art, creativity, and thinking wild is the nature of introverts. The extroverts' standard often put presenting ability way above the substantial and critical output. The more vocal you are in a group, the more likely people will believe. No matter if your idea is well structured or just an impulsive one.

Introverts are often mistakenly judged as nerdy, awkward, unfriendly, shy, closed, loner, weird, and so on. Actually introversion has nothing to do with all of them. Many people simply failed to differentiate between unwillingness and shyness, especially in introverts' grow-up phase. Why am i so quiet? Why am i uncomfortable being in the crowd's attention? Why cant i be expressive like other people? It must be a shyness, inferiority complex! Yes, a lot of people, even introverts them self, accept the extroverts' standard so unthinkingly. As if introversion is antisocial or sociopath manner that need to be cured. The truth is introverts having more empathy to a social connection, that's why they're so selective and sensitive about who is safe to express to and to be in their inner circle. You really need to prove yourself worthy before you have access to their private life such as passion, personal problem, or family life. If they don't tell you about it, its not because of their closed personality, it simply because you're boring not on their trusted list yet. This often misjudged as unfriendly, weird, or closed. In the extroverts' standard, introverts are obligated to please extroverts' demands of talking and socializing, or else you'll be judged as loner, boring, cold, etc.

No such thing introverts are directly related to closed personality. Even a cheerful extrovert can actually have a closed or anxious personality. Its just you need to dig deeper to know what introvert's true form is, and this make them often looked mysterious. When extrovert focused on "what is", introvert think about "what if". Extroverts simply focused on what is needed to be kind and make people like them, while an introvert can be as complicated as "what if i'm being cold and silent, or what if i choose to show you the worst part of me? will you still be kind?." This filtering mechanism make introverts having a smaller but deeper connection in their circle. But consequently, they'll ended up being judged as unfriendly, silent, or sometimes arrogant.

Too much of a judgement, huh?

It is true that constantly being judged by extroverts' standard can make introverts with low self-esteem become confused of their personality, feel inferior, shy, and ended up having more trouble with socializing. But thats not what introversion is all about.

Introverts neither shy or inferiorly quiet, its just not interested in small talks, gossips, or impressions people try to build from conversation. Okay, extroverts don't like small talks either. But introverts prefer to be straight, better to be silent than pretend to enjoy the awkward conversation like extroverts do. Then what's wrong with that? I've just bleached my hair to orange af that even my extrovert friend said ngga malu apa jalan dengan rambut terang ky gitu. Its not shyness, and its not about afraid of being the center of attention in all circumstances like what people think introverts are. Between conversation, introverts observe the details first, rather than just replying at the first place. Bukan pendiam, tapi lebih memilih mendengarkan, and yes in the moment you talk, introverts read you and your mind rather than focused on what topic you're talking about. It doesn't mean they're not a good listener, they're best in it actually, they prefer to be silent rather than interrupting with unimportant response. But if it's important, they'll speak. This observant nature of introverts drains their energy just by listening. And sometimes, when you talk about way to success, achievement, or other things about social-competition related topics, pikiran mereka lagi sibuk mikirin teori relativitas, time dilation, dan multiverse. If this universe is actually a multiverse like what astronomers believe, then it can explains how fate works. Ketika kamu sukses kamu harus tau kalo itu takdir Tuhan. Tapi ketika kamu gagal karena kurang usaha, kamu nggak bisa bilang ini udah takdir, because this life is a multiverse! Your efforts determine which verse in the multiverse that will actually become your reality. Haha. Okay itu sesat dan nggak berdasar, just an example of how introverts can enjoy being friends with themself alone even when they're not physically alone. They dont care about social achievements like style, fame, or "success", and prefer having fun with random thoughts. But don't get it wrong, not to care doesn't mean not be able to. There are many modern day's world-changing figures like Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Larry Page, and even Zuckerberg who plays major role in dictating our modern social behavior, are introverts.

Okay, i'm talking too much. Cuman gemes aja kadang, kalo denger orang salah persepsi sama introvert. Its not that i'm trying to impress that extroverts are the villain here, but its somehow hateful when extroverts think they need to "help" introverts out of silence by talking or force us to tell stories. It only charges them, but drains our energy instead of helping. And sometimes, no matter how introvert try to fill the gap, exroverts will still get bored eventually. Constant one-on-one communication is never enough because of their trait on group interaction. So if your partner leave you because you are boring, let them leave, haha. The problem is in them with their lack of self-efficacy, not you. Well, just look around, digital advertisements took place of sales representatives, animated videos took place of oral presentations, motivators, banking services, dating, shopping malls, they're all going digital. Tasks that require direct speech and presenting ability is being replaced by technologies, where indirect communication as the true power of introverts takes place. People nowadays prefer to get busy with their smartphone rather than to talk to stranger in public transportation or places. For extroverts' standard, it is a degraded society. But for introverts, its a comfort. I mean, see, the world is becoming more and more 'quiet' and introvert. So maybe its time to extroverts to learn to lower their pitch and try to adjust to the introverts' standard.